Vern's Verbal Vibe

Singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist and purveyor of folk 'n' roll: spirit-filled sad songs made better.

March 12, 2006

Killer Twigs

A warning to all cyclists, especially those of you who savour a genteel ride in a sylvan setting: beware the killer twigs of Toronto Island!

I decided to spend my day off biking around the Island. Things were going swimmingly until I veered off the main road onto a paved path that led to the boardwalk. Fallen twigs, branchlets, and sundry arboreal parts were strewn about, but the roadway hardly looked scary. In fact, I took little notice until I suddenly heard a crack, then a thump. When my wheel hit the killer twig, the evil appendage somehow leapt from there up into my front fender, which it promptly snapped in two—each end bashed against the front wheel, of course.

The wheel wasn't damaged, just temporarily immobile. And wouldn't you guess, I had no tools with me. I generally don't carry them because (a) I barely know how to use them; and (b) you're never too far from a TTC stop anywhere in Toronto ... except on the Island. So, I performed my best impersonation of Superman/Uri Geller to bend and manipulate the twisted wreckage off my bike and into the nearest garbage bin, then carried on without incident.

Oh, well—it's the back fender that prevents that nasty stripe from crawling up your back. Who needs the front one? Evidently, I don't.


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