My Team, My Champions

Rather improbably, my Toronto Argonauts are the 2022 Grey Cup champions, squeaking out a 24-23 win over the two-time defending champs, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. For some reason, Grey Cup games are often nail-biters with dramatic and at times jaw-dropping twists and turns, and this was no exception. I expect it'll go down as one of the all-time classics. I thought the Argos could keep it close, but I didn’t think they’d win. Winnipeg, with their CFL-best 15-3 record, were the clear favourites.

Oddly, in a nine-team league, this was the first Grey Cup matchup between Winnipeg and Toronto in 72 years. Their last meeting was a 13-0 Argonaut win in the infamous Mud Bowl. The 2022 edition was a seesaw affair for three quarters, but when the Bombers opened the fourth with a 102-yard punt-return touchdown to go up 23-14, I thought it was pretty much curtains for Toronto. But kicker Marc Liegghio missed the extra point, which would’ve made it 24-14, and as fate would have it, that one point was the Argos’ margin of victory. (More irony: Toronto lost 23-22 to Winnipeg early in the season on—you guessed it—a missed convert.)

So much happened in the game's last few minutes that it's still hard to digest. Starting QB McLeod Bethel-Thompson injured his thumb and couldn't continue. Rookie Chad Kelly replaced him and went 4-for-6, scampered for 20 yards on a critical 2nd-and-15, and ultimately engineered the winning drive. Linebacker Henoc Muamba snagged a key interception late, setting up what should have been the field goal that sealed the deal. Instead, Boris Bede's attempt was blocked by Winnipeg's Nick Hallett, and all the Bombers had to do was gain enough field position to kick the game-winning field goal themselves.

On that series, Argo defensive lineman Robbie Smith went from hero to goat to hero in a matter of seconds. He sacked Bomber QB Zach Collaros on second down and appeared to sack him again on third down. But his hand caught Collaros' face mask, and the ensuing penalty gave Winnipeg a fresh set of downs. With under a minute to go and the ball on the Toronto 40, Liegghio was set to kick the 47-yard field goal that would clinch the Blue Bomber victory, but someone's fingertips found the ball on its upward trajectory. That someone was Robbie Smith. Brandon Banks fell on the bouncing pigskin at the Argonaut 13, and with 45 seconds left, the Double Blue were able to run out the clock and escape with the win. How ridiculous, how completely implausible are the two blocked field goals in the last two minutes? Prior to that, there had only been two blocked field goals in the entire 2022 season.

Though the Argonauts weren't favoured to win this game, they had some serious mojo on their side. First, Winnipeg has never beaten Toronto in a Grey Cup, the history between the teams going back to the 1930s. Second, when the Argos get to the Grey Cup, even when they're underdogs, they win. That’s now seven straight: 1991, 1996, 1997, 2004, 2012, 2017 and 2022. And Winnipeg is now 0-7 all-time in Grey Cups versus Toronto.

On a personal level, this Argonaut team has helped me get through what's been a tough year. Their victories have been mine. Each big win, be it the two against Hamilton, the first-place clincher in Montreal, the East Final and of course the Grey Cup, cheered me up immensely and in some cases lifted me out of weeks-long depressions. On one level, sure, football is just a game. But through it, my team, my champions, brought joy to people like me for whom joy has been so elusive.

The Westbury Wolves Official Playbook

After the frenzy of the CD release, I've been spending my much-needed downtime watching classic Grey Cup games from the '60s and '70s on YouTube. The '60s games were educational because I'd never seen them, but the early '70s are where the memories really start to kick in. The first CFL game I ever watched (on TV) was the 1971 Grey Cup. We had a new colour TV and rotary antenna, and Dad patiently explained the rules to my brother and me as we watched our hometown heroes, the Toronto Argonauts, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in a heartbreaking 14-11 loss to Calgary.

Fast forward through a lost 1972 season to November 11, 1973 and the Eastern Semi-Final at CNE Stadium. This was my first live game, again with Dad and my brother. Toronto, having finished in second place with a 7-5-2 record, hosted the Montreal Alouettes. We sat in the Grandstand, Section P, I believe, about 20 rows up. With two minutes left in the fourth quarter and the score 10-7 Montreal, the Argos have the ball on the Alouette 24. QB Joe Theismann, in what would be his final game in the CFL, drops back to pass. He finds rookie tight end Peter Muller open at the goal line—for the game-winning touchdown—and Muller drops the ball. The Boatmen tie the game on a field goal, but Montreal rolls over them in overtime, eventually winning 32-10. (Saving grace? The Als would lose the following week to the eventual '73 Grey Cup champion Ottawa Rough Riders.)

Around this time the neighbourhood kids and I started playing touch football, on the street, with modified CFL rules. For one, your average city street lacks goalposts, so we used the hydro wires attached to the telephone poles in lieu. (They were way up there and we were all lousy kickers, so I doubt many field goals were made.) Said telephone poles, about 30 yards apart maybe, also demarcated the goal lines, so our "field" was a tad shorter than the CFL's 110. A regulation CFL field is 65 yards wide; our street, including the sidewalks, might have been 10. If I recall correctly, the sidewalks were in bounds. Mrs. Shaw's lawn was definitely not, as she took great screeching pains to point out whenever the ball landed on it. (Hey, cool it, Mrs. S. At least we never broke your window.) I couldn't throw or kick, but had good hands and was a reliable tight end. Why, in my 12-year-old mind, I could've shown Peter Muller a thing or two.

All our offensive plays were pass plays. Running wasn't allowed, mainly because it would've been pointless in such a confined space. We mostly played against each other but on rare occasions, we'd challenge the kids who lived east of Bicknell Avenue. For these games we had to call ourselves something, hence the Westbury Wolves. And despite the sheer brilliance and cunning of our playbook (see below), as I recall we got our butts kicked whenever we ventured outside the neighbourhood for a not-so-friendly match.

So gather round, kids, and listen carefully, for Grandpa here is about to reveal the best-kept secret in the history of touch football—the Westbury Wolves Official Playbook. If you or your kids play touch football, give these a try. One or two of them might even work once in a blue moon. And if you've never heard of the CFL greats who are their namesakes, do look them up.

And speaking of namesakes: Hedge, Ec, Birdeen, Kojak, Cyc, Stick, Fuzz, the One-armed Bandit, The Ed, Dan & Don, this playbook is dedicated to you. (Yes, one of these is me. No, I'm not telling you which one.)

• Mike Eben: Run forward seven yards, then back two or three.
• Zenon Andrusyshyn: Line up wide left or right. Run forward seven yards, then cut outside.
• Peter Dalla Riva: Run a curl pattern in the shape of a question mark, starting from the bottom.
• Johnny Rodgers: Run forward three yards, stop, jump, then streak downfield.
• Tom Campana: Run forward five yards, cut in sharply for two yards, then cut back out (like a T-shape).
• George McGowan: Similar to the Dalla Riva, but instead of closing the question mark by curling in, run straight across the field.
• Rhome Nixon: Run forward two yards. Accept the short pass from the QB, lateral back to him, then streak downfield.
• Tom Forzani: Line up wide left or wide right. Run a 45-degree slant about five or six yards.

Fast forward, oh, 44 years, and the Argos are back on the CNE grounds, their new home a stone's throw from long-since-demolished CNE Stadium. What's more, the Double Blue are your 2017 Grey Cup champions, victors over Calgary, who themselves snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with a series of improbable blunders. I've rekindled my passion for football and splurged for a season ticket in the cheap seats. See you next June, Section 220! And, um, Coach Trestman? Feel free to borrow from the best.

Summer Potpourri

This month's post is a bit of a mish-mash, as none of what's on my mind merits a full-blown screed. So, in no particular order:

New Covers. "God's Children" (The Kinks), "Late Night" (Syd Barrett), "Lightning Rose" (Jefferson Starship—ongoing Paul Kantner tribute). Coming soon to an open stage. I'm also working up "Moments of the Soft Persuasion" (Peter, Paul and Mary), but not for live performance. Oh, I can get through it okay but this tune, which has an absolute killer chorus, falls flat without harmonies. If I could find a Paul and Mary to sing it with me, I'd sing the Peter bit. In the meantime, I aim to record a version by overdubbing all three vocals. In trying to work through the changes I kept getting stuck on this one chord. Had no idea what it was. I finally isolated what the singers were doing and figured at the very least, those three notes must be constituent parts of the mystery chord. Those were A, C# and F#, all on the second fret. I then randomly wrapped my thumb around the bottom strings on the same fret and as soon as I strummed, I knew I had hit on it. But what was it called? Since my last "secret chord" post I've discovered a handy chord namer. But if you punch in this chord—a shape that frets everything at the second fret but leaves the D-string open—check out the unwieldy names it generates! That's why I call my chords "Am funny," "Fmould" and so on. That said, "Bm9/F#" was both pithy and accurate, so Bm9/F# it shall be. The magic chord occurs between F#m and G at the start of the killer chorus. Try it, you'll love it.

Brexit. David Cameron will go down in infamy as the British PM who irreparably fractured not one but two long-standing geopolitical alliances—the European Union and the UK itself—all for the sake of quelling internal party squabbles. A bit drastic, no? It's also cost him his job, which may not be a bad thing.

Populism. I've had a couple of people tell me that Donald Trump is eminently qualified for the US presidency because "he's not a politician." You've heard these arguments too, I'm sure. Here's what I find odd: if you wanted someone to train your prize race horse and ride it to victory, would you hire an accountant? Is a jockey your go-to guy when preparing your year-end financials? I'm guessing not. So why does prevailing wisdom tell us that politicians are corrupt, incompetent and unfit to govern simply because they're politicians? And were we to elect a plumber, beautician or snake-oil salesman, would he/she not be tarred with the same brush after a term or two in office anyway? I don't get it.

BMO Field. My tailgating concerns aside, the Argos' new home is a winner even if the team isn't yet. I missed last night's opener but took in the preseason game a couple of weeks back, and I loved it. The seating is cozy, intimate and, for those of us old enough to remember CNE Stadium pre-baseball, a throwback to a golden era of Argonaut football. (Pedantic aside: we football fans never, ever called it "Exhibition Stadium." The Blue Jays brought that moniker in 1977. It was and shall forever remain CNE Stadium. More pedantry: the new place is pronounced BEE-mo, not B-M-O.) I've lately been looking at aerial maps, present and historical, to determine where the CNE's north grandstand was in relation to the new digs. We had season tickets for a few years in the '70s and I recall them being in said grandstand, Section D, Row 33. Seats might have been 3 and 4. As far as I can tell, the old grandstand would cut across the south end of BMO Field on an angle of, oh, 60 degrees or so, meaning my CNE seat would be floating in space somewhere around what's now the 20-yard line, near the west sideline. You see, BMO faces directly north/south; CNE Stadium had a broadly NW/SE orientation. That alone made my first visit to BMO a bit jarring, because there I was, in essentially the same place watching the same team, and the views, the atmosphere, everything is almost-but-not-quite like I remember it. We are, after all, talking 40 years later. It's kind of like looking at an old family portrait on a funny angle with 3D glasses, and there's a blank space where Uncle Ted and Aunt Bertha used to be.

CNE Stadium is now a parking lot, with a cracked marker in the middle of it that says "Exhibition Stadium - Home Plate." Useless if you're trying to locate the grandstand, which was so far from the plate that it may as well have been in the next county. Anyway, I dream that someday the city will create a proper memorial for CNE Stadium, even as revisionist historians decry it as the Mistake by the Lake. (Pedantry, final instalment: whatever its flaws, not a soul called it that during its lifetime. The revisionists have borrowed/appropriated the nickname of Cleveland Municipal Stadium.) In the meantime I'll learn to love BMO, tilted angle, missing persons and all. Whether or not you're all misty-eyed over CNE Stadium, BMO Field is a marked improvement over the Argos' former home, the cavernous and sterile Rogers Centre. Which, by the way, I think is an okay venue for baseball. Not stellar, but serviceable.

By the way, here's a fabulous photo of CNE Stadium in its pre-baseball configuration. This was taken on November 25, 1973 at the Grey Cup, two weeks after my first game there, the Eastern Semi-Final between the Argonauts and Montreal Alouettes. And here's the football field in 1976, during the facility's conversion for baseball. I guarantee I would have been at this game, but am not in the photo. Section D was about 15 yards deep in the near end zone and is cropped out of the shot.

Grammar. In the space of 24 hours I've heard two football commentators say something like "The training staff is going to be very precautious." The adjective is "cautious," guys. Sufficient in and of itself; no need for a prefix. You can be very cautious and take precautions, though.

Season Pass: The Reboot

I'm pleased to announce that Season Pass will be relaunched in 2009. Though I unearthed much material in 2008, the book's major premise—one dating attempt per game attended—came on board rather late, ultimately spinning out as that season wound down.

So, it's time to start the festivities afresh. Tantalizingly, this year brings a bonus and an early beginning: I'll be at Round 1, Pool C of the 2009 World Baseball Classic in Toronto (March 7-11; 6 games), plus I'll toss the full 2009 Toronto Argonaut schedule into the mix (June-November; 10 games).

That's 97 games, 97 dating attempts. Not 97 dates; I wish, but that's, er, unlikely. Busy as the season itself will be—and this thing called work might chew up some time, too—I hope to post updates as the proceedings unfold.

Predictions: Blue Jays finish 3rd, Argos 2nd in their respective divisions; I go on 15 dates. Wildly optimistic in the Jays' case perhaps, but it says here that Tampa Bay just cashed in their lone Cinderella season. Anyway, if I'm right that'll bump up my total to 98, as the Boatmen will host a playoff game. The fun officially kicks off February 25 (Blue Jays' first spring training game).

"So, any grand ideas for our first date?"

"Well, um, you into baseball by any chance?"

Evil Empire Makes Good

E-mail sent to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats (arch rivals of my favourite team, the Toronto Argonauts, for those of you who don't follow Canadian football):

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I'm an Argonaut season-ticket holder and have noted with dismay the coming incursion of the NFL's Buffalo Bills into the Toronto market. Though I don't fault the Argo brass for supporting the endeavour—I don't see what else they could have done—I was delighted when the Tiger-Cats refused to participate in the deal as currently structured.

Though I must confess you won't hear me chanting "Oskee Wee Wee" at Ivor Wynne anytime soon, the Tiger-Cat organization has earned my respect. I will of course continue to cheer on the Double Blue but will not fork out a dime, much less two thousand dollars, to see the Buffalo Bills play in Toronto.

I wish the Hamilton Tiger-Cats all the best for the 2008 season and once again, please accept my warmest congratulations for doing what's right. With custodians such as Mr. Young standing up for the CFL, our great game will continue to prosper.