Slogan Is as Slogan Does

I attend a couple of 12-step groups fairly regularly and of late I find I'm leaning on the slogans, an often-overlooked program tool. In tough times, these pithy pearls can shift my perspective just enough to see me through. I'd like to share a few now in hopes that they'll help you, too.

One Day at a Time: For me, the crux of this slogan is its radical reorientation to the present moment. I need only get through today, and in fact, that's all I can do. I can't get through tomorrow, next week or next year today. But whatever it is, be it a turbulent emotion or trying external circumstance, I can grit through the pain just for today.

Let Go, Let God: What am I letting go of? My problems, worries and fears. What am I letting God do? Solve them. Handle them. Render them impotent. And God will if you let God. It's a moment-to-moment decision to live in faith, not fear.

Our Operators Are Standing By: This, my own self-penned slogan, could alternatively be titled "Reach Out (I'll Be There)." You can't work a program alone, but fortunately, help is always at hand between the meetings. Taped to my phone are the numbers of four crisis lines and a prayer line. Close by is the phone list for my meeting. Self-sufficiency dies hard, and it still takes utter desperation to prompt me to pick up the phone. I'm working on that, but if I can fight through my stubbornness I know that 24 hours a day someone is out there, willing to listen and wanting to help.

Season Pass Update

Season Pass news: as the quest to take in 81 baseball games winds down, our hero is nudged by Leilani to embark on a parallel (and more daunting) quest: ask 81 women out! Appropriately, the festivities begin at the September 17 game vs. Baltimore, where yours truly will attend a speed-dating event in Section 230 or thereabouts.

I wonder if other writers use their work to conquer some long-standing fear: "Let's, um, try THIS. If nothing else, a little terror will spice up the story."

Freedom From Fear

I've had a rough patch over the holidays, with fear coming up over a variety of issues. Once I came through the worst of it and felt more centred, I wondered how to confront it. (It's slowly dawning on me that avoidance, my standard strategy, only makes things worse.) The initial response was to set myself a goal of taking one risk per day—large or small, doesn't matter. So far, so good: two days, two (smallish) risks.

I figured more research couldn't hurt, so I went to the library and borrowed Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear ... and Do It Anyway. This is perhaps a quirk of mine, but when I read self-help books I always do three things:

1. Avoid all the exercises. They drive me nuts, slow me down, and hamper my learning. I'm a verbal learner, not a doer. I need to grasp the underlying concepts and integrate them with prior knowledge.
2. Distill the message to its essence. The simpler and more direct, the better.
3. Put the message in my own words.

Here are the results. I hope they're useful, both to myself and whoever might be reading:

FREEDOM FROM FEAR: TWELVE AXIOMS
(Adapted from Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear ... and Do It Anyway)

1. Fear never goes away by itself.
   
2. Uncovering the root of my fear may lend insight, but it won’t remove the fear.


3. Paradox: avoiding fear creates more fear.


4. The only way to overcome fear of X is to go out and do X. (This can be a gradual process.)


5. Facing fear builds confidence. The more I do it, the more confident I’ll become.
   
6. Everyone feels fear. Some overcome it; some let it paralyze them. Which do I want to be?


7. Pushing through fear is never as scary as the paralysis that comes from giving in to fear. A risk-free life is death. Obsessive quests for security create insecurity.


8. Obvious dangers aside, fear generally does not signify retreat; it invites growth.


9. Underlying fear is a lack of faith. All fears boil down to "If I do this, I won’t be able to cope with what might happen." But I can; I always have. Therefore, there are no wrong decisions—only different sets of experiences, any of which I can handle.


10. In the big picture, it really doesn’t matter what I decide. Each choice simply creates a different experience. Experiences are neither good nor bad—they are what they are.


11. The correct answer to "What if?" is always "I'll handle it."
    
12. I can live in faith or in fear. When I am afraid, I have no faith. When I have faith, I have no fear.