Hilarious "Link"

It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. Hysterical!

I note with "glee" the disproportionate representation of the "food" industry in these examples. It's long been a conviction of mine that most greengrocers and restaurateurs treat the language with as much respect as a gemologist would costume jewellery. Sure, linguistic exactitude is hardly their raison d'etre, but still ...

In the interest of fairness, foodies everywhere are invited to make fun of my diet. With few exceptions, my palate is about as sophisticated as that of your average ten-year-old. Speaking of which, time for lunch: carrots, chip dip, and veggie turkey slices washed down with a spot of Eau de Lac Ontario (this morning was a very good year).

Hold the Mao

Linguistic blunder-spotting is, I admit, a hobby of mine. Now, I'm not smug—I've committed my share over the years—but I can't help myself when stuff like this comes over my radio and whacks me in the ear.

Here are a few gems of recent vintage. May they bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye:

• "In terms of international trade, Canada has become a mediocre force to be reckoned with."
• "It's better be in a healthy relationship than to go around starting a rumour mill."
• (Sombre police officer, deadpan) "The suspect is dead. I assure you, he is no longer a threat to the public."
• "I need to relocate to another location."
• "I honestly don't know how to be honest anymore."
• "About twenty-five Mayoist rebels attacked the village festival." (Hint to newsreader: the correct word rhymes with "Taoist.")